The Death Panel of Tompkins County will convene before the Tompkins County Courthouse in Ithaca, NY. Please haul your useless old people and crippled, misaligned, infirm, retarded, birth defected, enfeebled, ignorant, withered, dyspeptic young before this panel to have your final fate arbitrarily decided. Please do bring sufficient ID as well as your choice of death options. The infirm will be shot in the back of the head or beaten with clubs. Able bodied but mentally feeble or deranged will be drowned like kittens, or gassed in the back of a panel van and dumped for recycling at the Socialist Center for Retarded and Aged Persons (SCRAP). The Socialist Democrats will then distribute renewable parts for stem-cell research and organ transplants for government officials. Brains particularly will be wilbeforced and farce-fed to former Guvners of I’ll Ask Her. Anyone caught shirking will be sent to Afghanistan for immediate mulching in Taliban strongholes. Our Great Leader, King of Kenya and Secret Grand Vizier of Indonesia, will supervise personally the distribution of gold fillings, hair, and high heels. There will also be a free, forced circumcision sale sponsored by our Muslim Brothers.
By order of the Jack Booted Thugs, outsourced contractors of the Tri Lateral Commission and UN High Commission for World Government.